Back to Ananda: When and How?

When to come back,


I am sooooooooooooooo ready to be back to Ananda time and my studio.


I am waiting on two things.


First, the stay at home order for our local area, I keep up on this daily. Being able to get to the studio is an important part of …. Being at the studio.


The second is the sticky part, the medical piece for safety. As the gatekeeper of all who cross my threshold, the one who holds the baton for keeping us all safe, I am beholden to find ways to make sure, as sure as possible that any touch given and taken on my watch and by my hand is the touch of healing, caring and do no harm-ing.


I am scouring the inter- webs daily for info on how to safely get to being able to work again....


So many of my clients have active traveling lives, and are from so many parts of the country and even world travelers ..... It isn’t practical to trace people forever for each session. The first week back wouldn’t be so hard since we’ve all been homebound (theoretically) but some of us have still been out working, some people are their household’s link to the outside world for shopping, some people haven’t stayed home. As we get back to regular life risks will go up and it isn’t humanly possible to trace every person for every possible point of contact for every session date.


Social distancing doesn't work with body work and human closeness…. so I am looking and looking for things that will allow me to get back up close and personal and not die of the death or pass any deathness or long term health problems to anyone.


This bug, even if you recover, can leave permanent systemic damage to organs and immune system. It isn’t like a cold that you are miserable and can say - WOW! That table time was worth it, I can deal with some sniffles. This bug can leave a person permanently impaired.


So I research daily... & if anyone sees /learns something before I see it - link me! I don't think there is anything yet that I have missed but I would love to be wrong!


I am keeping an eye out for real time, point of service, short wait-for results; like 5-10 minutes to show if someone has the bugga... and then will work towards finding a way to get those tests, make them affordable to build into session rates…without breaking the bank (we need something that isn’t hundreds of $)


Basically I need an affordable, real time covid test that processes as quickly as an at home preggers pee strip to be able to work again, before vaccines and while we are waiting for cures that really work.


Nothing in life is totally risk free but if I get this I would go down hard - asthma, hashimotos, prednisone, general immunicrapola… I have the trifecta of things that would go boom if exposed.


I want to work, but prefer to be alive while I do the working. If anyone sees info about this type of testing being reliable and available for people to buy vs going to hospital/that type of thing LINK me and LOOP me in!


Here’s hoping that this type of testing availability coincides with perhaps a June end to stay at home and we can all come out and play.

What I miss most ... A thoughful question from a thoughtful friend

A few days ago when this was all starting to unfold, the impact that is of how this Covid is impacting my very in person work


One of my favorite friends whom I have known as Ananda for years and I were communicating online (safely socially distanced) a few days ago about the social distancing and how it’s impacted our ability to spend in person social and skin time.


He asked me the best question ever and one I have been cogitating on over coffee, while walking my pups and as I adjust to missing my studio time.


He asked what I miss most while being shut down, other than of course the money.


Wow.


What an amazing question. Straight to the heart.


I am so so so very fortunate. 14 years and gaining into a career that I chose thoughtfully and with the support of friends and family.


I went into the sensual arts as a healer who also loves to dive deep into the experience.


I went into this career wholeheartedly after two years of learning, interviewing other ladies in the field, reading, asking questions and getting centered in what I wanted to offer.


I still have several clients whom I met my very first month as Ananda Healer.


So for me, being asked this question gave me the answer so loud and clear in my heart and mind that it knocked me over.


What do I miss most?


I miss the specific people.


I miss the unique conversations and flow I have created with each of my long term “regulars” . I miss knowing what they like to drink, their specific way of saying hi and greetings. I miss their smiles. I miss knowing when I have found a style of clothing, or a hair or makeup thing, or not wearing makeup that it is just right for them, specifically.


I miss getting to express different facets of myself in ways that few persons do.


I miss that when they walk through my studio door that they know, beyond a doubt that they matter - to ME. That they and I can count on that when they walk through that door, or I meet them somewhere that I am absolutely with them.


I miss that in the way a person remembers their first date they ever had. Creating that zing, making it special and seeing those eyes and smiles.


I miss the way I am treated the same way in return. The thoughtfulness, the happiness to be with me, the people who are gifters and have found just the right thing that they know I will like.



I have been saying this on my website and in my ads for years. It could sound cliche, but when I was asked this question, it rang true loud and clear in my head and heart.


I miss the specific PEOPLE.


No two people I have met are cookie cutter. I miss the direct physical differences, how each person hugs, kisses, touches. I miss shared massages, and couch snuggles by the fire. I SO much miss the kissing and massage that leads to more. I miss the people who like to go fast and intense. I miss the people I get to share hours with and take it slow. I miss the people I know I get to snuggle in and hear about their day or week while we cuddle by the fire.I miss knowing how peoples dogs are doing and their projects and dreams and families. I miss the people who need massage first to smooth out their day and settle in. I miss being the person on the table.


I miss the talking and the silence and the space where there is only breathing and kissing. I miss the shared sweat made together and the only with that person’s pheromones and mine.


I miss being able to leave the rest of the world behind, the world all of us have with thinking and logistics and being brain off and body ON.


I miss shared food and the tantric flavor of a shared meal. I miss those times I get to float in soaking baths and hot tubs and let the water set the rhythm. I miss the connection of touch during undressing rituals, letting the fabric be part of the experience, eyes closed and senses lit up. I miss skin. I miss being petted and explored.


I miss that each person brings out a different part of my response and that I can look forward to experiencing that piece of myself with them. I miss learning things about my own pleasure that would never be possible without that specific way of touch that that person brings.


I miss each person’s body, the things that work & with sincerity, the things that are challenges physically but that we find ways to create pleasure in new and different ways. I miss the learning and relearning over time as our bodies change over the years or months.


I miss never standing in the same river twice while keeping all the favorite parts.


I miss eye contact and seeing and being seen.


I miss the smell of each person. I miss the sounds of individual voices cadences. I miss the texture of hair and skin and clothing.


I miss so many things.


Having this time off “work” …. Brings home to me that I love my work; because my work is about the people.


I miss my people.


Be safe out there, while we all ride this through.


If you are already one of “my” people, know that I am missing you specifically, not in theory or abstract. I miss our time & our pacing. If you are one of these people, you will understand this at a cellular level since you created it with me.


If we haven’t met, know that when it's safe to return to the studio that I am looking forward to meeting you and finding out what I would miss once we’ve found our us.


Until our next studio date, I am holding space in my heart and my body for our next time to touch with our eyes, hands, skin and mouths.

Sex and Our Society

Sex and Our Society

While our entertainment, advertising and news media are flooded with images of blatant sexuality, in reality most people discover very little support for genuine sexuality and sensuality and expression of the whole of one's sexual desires and appetites. There are so many mixed, skewed and false messages on TV/radio about what sexuality looks like and who is SEXY. It is no wonder people are confused about what they feel or why they feel it. Many people believe they aren't normal, when in fact they are responding in healthy sexual ways, or when their body doesn't react the way they think it should, when they are progressing along a perfectly natural sexual response pattern.
An example of how the media skews things is in judging a woman's sexuality on how she dresses. Clothing and cosmetics which appear provocative, do not provide an accurate picture of how the woman is feeling. She may appear incredibly sexually inviting (which she likely knows) but this is not always an indication of whether or not she is experiencing a sexual sensation or desire. Confusion over this is often sited in cases of date rape. While there are men who deliberately force their sexuality on another person, it is truly tragic that many cases now labeled as rape are likely confusion over how sexuality is expressed. Both genders have work to do in expressing their desires clearly and in respecting the desires of the man or women they are with. How someone looks and how sexual someone feels are not the same thing.
We are not often taught what real sexuality looks like, feels like or tastes like. So many of us bumble around reacting to what society has taught us sex is. My work helps people to cut through those misinterpretations and to know one's own true desires and recognize and relate to the essence of the desires of others.
We are often not taught or rather taught not to, discuss our sexuality honestly. We tone down or exaggerate what we are feeling to sooth fears our partner may feel. We go along with the flow in a group of people when the majority goes on and on about someone walking by, whether they are hot or not, even if our preferences may be different.
We are not taught that our sexuality exists independently of our relationship status. Our own unique sexual fingerprint is ours and ours alone. No one else's is exactly like ours and it is a relatively permanent part of who we are, much of it with us from birth. It will be with us always; whether we are single or involved/committed. The question becomes how closely and honestly will we look at our own pattern of loops and whorls.
We need to take ownership of our sexuality. If we are single, we usually feed ourselves and clothe ourselves. If we are married and our spouse is away, or unavailable or not interested in the food we like, we quite often still take care of our other basic needs. We golf with our golf buddies if our wife doesn't golf. We go on spa days with the girls if we share an interest that our husband doesn't. We eat sushi with a buddy from work if our lover is a meat and potatoes individual. Most of us, however put immense pressure on our relationship to provide for all of our sexual needs at all times. If that doesn't work, we believe we have two options; to leave, or to cheat. There are other ways to handle our sexuality without burying it or denying it.
We all need to learn how to empower ourselves sexually with grace and integrity. A classic book which addresses this is Open Marriage by Nena and George O'Neill. Originally published in 1972 it is still very relevant in today's world. This book eloquently explains the pitfalls of requiring our partner to provide for all of our needs and wants, and how to find other ways of meeting those needs with kindness and integrity. A more modern work which address specifically the sexual negotiation is The Ethical Slut (1997) by Dossie Easton & Catherine A. Lizt. This book can be hard to read because it challenges so many of our beliefs but it will make you think about what you want and how to get there.
We also need to learn to take responsibility for the fact that we CAN control the expression of our sexual desires. There are techniques which can accelerate, decelerate, maintain, contain and disperse our sexual energy. This is something that can be taught as the layers of conditioning telling us that these things are out of our control are peeled away.
Learning to live with our sexuality in a realistic way reduces the needs for crimes of passion based on jealousy, as well as feelings of hurt and inadequacy when our lover expresses an interest not solely focused on our being everything to them.
This involves having the skills, knowing ourselves, knowing those we are involved with, knowing how to communicate, negotiating our future relationships to include the full expression of our sexual needs, working as best we can within current relationships to express our sexual growth in a healthy way, and if we must end them to continue growing taking responsibility for this and moving on with tenderness.
We need skills to maintain our sexuality in a healthy, honest, considerate, kind and loving way with ourselves and those we are involved with.

Finding your Sexual Path With Integrity

My Professional Views on Marriage & Fidelity and finding your Sexual path with Integrity.


Currently, married persons are welcome to become patrons regardless of their spouses involvement or knowledge, but I do encourage all potential patrons to read this section so that we may communicate comfortably. Your marital status, should you disclose it, will be held in the highest confidence at all times.





I believe that honesty is very important to our well being. We must be honest with ourselves to take care of ourselves and to live fully. I believe that intentional dishonesty to others is, in a way, theft. If we tell somebody something we know is not completely true in order to keep them, to get them to agree to something (such as marriage) or to appease them, we have stolen from them the right to make an informed choice and to live the life they need to live to take care of themselves.


That said, I believe it is incredibly difficult in our society to always be honest with our spouses. There is a phenomenal amount of pressure on people to agree to monogamy if they want the other benefits of long term committed relationships such as marriage.


This is a difficult path to walk and most of us find we fall into some shade of gray. Many people dearly want to raise a family and share in the journey with a partner they love. Many people agree to give up significant portions of their sexuality to do this. Some can adhere to that for years, decades or the duration of a marriage. Some follow through but are unhappy, some find ways to be happy without that part of themselves, other find avenues for release and hope they don't get caught.


Society seems to want to make this black and white. If he really loved her he wouldn't want to (fill in the blank). Yet most people experience times in their lives when they discover that they truly do love their life partner and experience feelings out of congruence with the promises they've made.


I believe in striving for honesty to the best of our ability.


I also believe that, at times, honestly is not possible without losing such a great part of ourselves that life is not worth living.


We should not have to cut off our toes to make the glass slipper fit.


Some people cannot be honest and open with their sexuality without losing a spouse, alienating their children, jeopardizing their careers or perhaps even being made uncomfortable or asked to leave their house of worship. These are real risks. Each person has to ask themselves how they will handle times when they find themselves wanting or needing something that was not agreed to or would not be tolerated in their current circumstances.


So what does a person do when everything else in the marriage works, when they value everything they have and just have this one need that their partner can't or won't meet?


Some people have an affair, which carries risks.


Some people leave, which costs them everything else they've worked for.


Some people sublimate their own needs and lose a little piece of themselves


Some people come to a professional to meet those needs.


I do not judge people who come to me by my standards. I understand the difficulties of making these choices and that it is not always the best shade of gray to risk complete honesty. Only the person in a situation can fully understand their best path.
My personal path is to:


Be as honest as possible when entering any new situation


Negotiate ways to communicate which allow for changing circumstances


Solicit and accept honesty from those I relate to


When I discover something that isn't meeting my needs to express it kindly


To avoid situations requiring me to be less than completely honest about my needs.


To me personally , honesty is of the highest priority. I have to be able to be fully myself to feel alive and I have structured my life to allow for this.
In My Practice:


I encourage people I work with to try to the best of their ability to look for a path that would allow for honesty.


I respect whichever choice has brought you to me.


I respect your right to disclose or not disclose your marital status to me.


I welcome the sharing of your feelings regarding your choices.


You may talk with me about this honestly, without risk of judgment.
I encourage the following:


If you can, talk with your spouse. Is there a way to meet these needs together? If you can, give them a chance to share this journey with you.


Try not to repeat the situation if you meet somebody new, try to make only obligations that you can meet without sacrificing those essential pieces of yourself.


Be as much a person of integrity as you can in other areas of your life.


Understand that there are risks if dishonesty is ever discovered. Can you afford to take them?


Accept the consequences of your choices without blaming others.


Be kind and compassionate towards your partner's honest responses, even if those responses don't meet your needs.




Beginning in March of 2020, I will be accepting only clients whose relationships status DO allow for open partaking of my services with in the construct of their current relationship formats. Everything I have written here is true, AND for me, working in the grey zone has taken a mordor like tone for me. I fully believe there is a need for people in all relationships to explore themselves and I value the concept of bodily autonomy. I also need to create for myself a world where my policy on no DADT (a poly term for don’t ask, don’t tell) follows through so that I can be even more my authentic and complete self and feel my work is of completely do no harm status.






It is my sincere hope that I will live long enough to see a time when people do not have to make such difficult and costly decisions to express their sensual nature.

Let's see if I can catch up, now that I have caught my breathezzzzz.............. Ananda's journey to the Winter of the Wierd...

So I left on January 18th for my first whole week-ish vacation (sanz pups and with travel) in more than 5/6 years.............  AND....



Well, that Jan. vacation didn't go as planned &  turned into sick leave instead of recreartionaling.

The nasty resppie virus going around our area took hold of my asthma and wrangled the poo out of it.

With my underlying asthma and autoimmune stuff, AND having been off nearly all my asthma and usual medications to do my every ten or twenty year recheck for allergies, blood work and all the things in December (I was trying to get all the good testing and stuff done before my insurance changed in January)


SO just before I left for vacation 


I did all the good patient things and all the testings and the lowest levels of meds and then we had the nasty-est since swine flue virus commus through-us area-us and popped in to see my asthma doc and get all the meds. IF I have to have a cold bug - at least I am on a scenic vacation whilst I do.


AND... the insurance and costco and doctor combined somehow managed to get me the wrong medicine at the wrong dosage and I wound up with unexpected medicine create cushings, edema and other side effects.... heart stuff, skin stuff, not able to sleep stuff and putting on enough water weight that same clothes I have packed for snow vacations for literally decades fit the day we got in the car and the next day did not - stretch marks no extra charge. I literally had to buy new clothing.


We figured out the medication glitch and changed that medication, but a second medication had switched brands and while we realized that in an attempt to save money the costco had done a less quantity of vials, more concentrated nebulizer fluid (thus the flight or flight and heart racing) the brand of oral steroids had changed... and what I thought were 10 mgs were 20..... thus the steroid sickness and swelling. I didn't read the label - usually white ones are 10 and pink ones are 20 so was taking double that, and essentially quadruple the breathing inny make lungs open.


Getting home and tapering off those medications, usually not a problem .... this volume and dosage was. Also, I was unable to walk which as everyone who know me knows I don't miss my 3-6 miles a day walking... but this bug settled into the lungs even with 3 antibios - to the point of having to wrap my rib cage and get codeine for the coughing to give me a little bit of a break.... so no solid and so no walking, and all the swelling and the  eating to settle the meds.... left me feeling not my chipper self. Nathan (primary partner) came down sick at the same time and so tween no sleep due to steroids and all the puppers we did not get much rest and had the dooziest of the time getting over this bug.


 I have never missed this much work in my entire life - and I have been working since I was 15. I haven't ever been so sick tween medicines and the bug itself that I literally couldn't get to my computer and sit up long enough to communicate to people.


I have had asthma and auto-immune things since my early 20s  and in over 25 years have never had anything hit me like this.


While we were in lovely Winthrop with all the stunning snow that we thought we would play in we took a few steps out of the car to see if we could do a gentle walk even with little air and I broke through the snow to my knee on my left side..... which at the time, on ridiculous amounts of prednisone I didn't feel...... the leg was however, very badly sprained, purple to the knee, swollen ....



Once home and back to doctors to fine tune meds and add antibiotic to see  if can get better faster they change the nebulizer fluidee type again and gave me help  calm down meds in different dosage.... and in sleepy state, I managed to create just a little brush fire in the house..... A little spilled rubbing alchool too close to the wood stove, down the woodo stove pipe - flash bang to the face and hair (all stil here) and managed to catch two dog crates on fire  (one eithe side of the wood stove)  I managed to throw one dog crate (80 lb pupper and all down the front stairs into the snow-ish) and get the other pup out of her crate with no dogs injured.... and on all the medication not feeling the burns on my hands (strangly enough in the shape of metal dog crates)



All of this at once, and then Feb 20th I tripped over one of my older puppy girls Ms. Chinook at 16+ .... not sure which one of us took longer to stand up but it knocked the wind out of me, Nathan was in the house a-bed while I was letting pups out in the morning and so I got back up and kept moving....


On the foot that was/is broken .... sigh.

SO now, I get to see an ortho doc, am not supposed to walk-on that foot, it's the other that was damaged in the snow and is sprained..... so I can't get into work unless I learn to teleport or for a few more days until they get this right one stabilized.


Again, with the not walk - the walking is what helps me get through the after effects of the prednisone and back to feeling myself.


Right now, I am on doctors orders to a -bed (not the playful type) through end of this weekend, recheck on Monday and then hopefully be released to play and frolic again. If not, one more week after and then I can come back even if it means wearing knee-pads... (hmm) to crawl up the stairs I mean .....



BUT the good news is now that those crazy making awake all nite but too groggy to focus on the screen meds are cleared and away I can Write again and catch up with people. My lungs are clear and good, my energy level is recoverying, by next week I will be my normal catch me if you can energy level, I just gotta get at least one of these legs to work well enough to get me up the stairs and get some muscle tone back.


Right now, I am definitely more cushy and cuddly than panther lean but that can be had fun with.


So I will be doing my best to catch up on all the REALLY late emails, screening requests and wonderfully compassionate texts, emails and get wells I have received.


AND my goal is to be back in studio by March 14th or March 21st at my regular times able to do all the fun and playful and tlc Ananda things.

Well, that vacation didn't go as planned..............

It's been exciting to say the least....

but tonight I need sleep so will post the most tomorrow after coffee and rest...

Vacation turned into unpaid sick leave... there were fires, and lung things and broken legs.....

stay tuned for the rest of the events and adventures and how and when I will be working my way back to studio!

THIS IS NOT the bed rest I signed up for!

:)

Well, that vacation didn't go as planned.... turned into sick leave instead of recreate..... sigh

This nasty resppie virus took hold of my asthma and is wrangling the poo out of it

I am still in here just very very sick - too sick to answer emails or watch tv kind of sick

I WILL BE BACK! just a matter of what day - and yes, I am seeing doctors!

I have had a little excitement also with a minor broken ish leg and fire involving my hands and face (but I am mostly still here and my face is still here - just sides of fingers sore as the "dickens" hehe) I should have a detailed blog and info up in next day or two to catch people up!) I plan to post blog with all the adventures here tomorrow :)

Starting back lite schedule 2/23/2017

Thursday 2/23/2017 1 ishy to 5/6 ishy

Friday 2/24/2017

Saturday and Sunday off for resting

Monday 2/27/2017 3-6 pm

Then back to "normal" lol - well my "surreality"

Ananda Hyburrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrnates til Monday 2/6/2016

Okay time to fess up - the doctors and my two footed pack-mates have me outnumbered... This little cold bug everyone else has has settled into pneumonia and I have been order to bed rest (the at- home pouty pjs and onsies bed rest) My sexiest outfit right now is my Pusheen onsie

So ........... this is not not the fun type of bed time stories for me through at least friday/Sat... monday if I do as I am told ) & I do believe people will chain me to the couch if I try to leave to get to studio.... and it appears people have hidden my car keys after I tried to work Saturday when I shouldn't have.... if I am not careful they will steal the lug nuts off my cars and then I shall have no nuts a'tall to keep me occupied.

IF we are already scheduled - please email me for details - don't just run away - I would NOT cancel without a direct communication to you - and if we are in planning stages of setting up a time, again please email so we can talk about when I can wiggle my way back in.... I'd rather be playing than laying in bed here!



Ananda as you all know her; The Maiden, MaDame, Muse: Embodiment of a Maiden, Heart of an earth-goddess & Passion of a Muse: ALL still here just on a one week delay – I expect to be back and rested by Monday Feb 6th or possibly Saturday …. If I can escape the watchful eye of my woofers and two footed pack-monitors

When I get back to my studio those of you who enjoy a mature woman who has lost none of her zest and zing will find me to have been returned to a stellar peak of enthusiasm, gracious pacing, physical stamina and a heart full of "make yourself at home away from home" comfort.

For this week in my metal cabin at home with my 20 woofers ........... Warm winter fires find me winterin' in a hybruuuuuurrrrrrnation layer of my "3-bears" incarnation (… this one is JUST right) for those of you who like that comfy fit on a firm matrix.

………..and for those of you who enjoy the jiggly puff softness… the breathing meds and steroids have me allllll a wiggle jiggle…. Everything still here – just a little squishier for the 2/3 weeks it will take to shed the water weight from that devil angel drug called prednisone. The good news: it keeps me breathing, the bad news is it makes meeeee a puffffy red faced cherub of a playmate.... or is that bad? It's kind of cute if you like the super extra cuddliness.

I am running slow on emails - due to sleepy meds for the cough and to make me not get into the car and try to come in and play.... I am a hard one to pin down lol.... well, to keep home anyway.... so if you email me or send a request, be patient by perhaps an extra 24 hours while I catch up and sit up long enough to compute



I will post my schedule as soon as I can be sure I can post times I can keep without cancelling last minute


Screening required before we meet:
Standard, on line screening is complimentary.

Half hour non studio meet and greet ($50 for non-line screening option)